


Oreo Chips

by rant_girl



Series: Oreo Verse [1]
Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, F/M, Humor, M/M, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Schmoop, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 08:53:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3686055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rant_girl/pseuds/rant_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared has his suspicions that Jensen and Danneel are up to no good and it bothers him slightly, until it doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oreo Chips

**Author's Note:**

> written for the prompt: Jared and Jensen play strip poker...whether Jared bottoming is winning or losing is up to you! -- and I of course just had to add Danneel because she is awesome and I love her *nods*

Jared was screwed. Well. Technically not yet. That part he was looking forward to. But he was definitely going to lose the poker. Winner gets to choose the night’s sexual exploits. Loser has to do the winner’s choice of chore for a whole month. He’s fairly certain that Jensen and Danneel are cheating somehow. Though the odds had been unfairly stacked against him from the jump given he was the one wearing the least amount of layers. 

Danneel and Jensen had still been in their work gear, dress pants/cute blazer combos and they were both wearing a sweatervest over a white button down, though Danneel’s was cropped. Jared had just been in jeans and a t-shirt and he’d already lost his jeans. He probably would have been naked already if it wasn’t for the one item rule, and thankfully he’d still had shoes and socks on to keep him going. 

They were currently on hold. Danneel was _unscrewing_ some of her _chips_ , they’d gone for _Oreos_ , and slathering the creamless halves with peanut butter before _cementing_ them back together. Jared tipped his head back to look at their boyfriend who was pouring them each a glass of milk. Neither of them were paying any attention to Jared, just kept focused on their hands.

“Just admit it, you guys are conspiring against me. You hatched this up at work.”

Danneel arched an eyebrow at him and gave him _that_ look, “Jared what are you talking about?”

“We barely see each other at work. You know that,” Jensen said as he set Jared’s glass in front of him. They both worked at the same magazine. Danneel was chief editor and Jensen was their top photographer. So they didn’t see as much of each other as their parents continued to assume. 

But still.

Jared snorted, crossing his arms over his chest, “Like you two couldn’t schedule a sneaky secret meeting if you wanted.”

Jensen and Danneel shared a very wickedly conspicuous look in Jared’s opinion before continuing with their charade, “We would never do a thing like that. Would we Jensen?”

“Absolutely not,” Jensen grinned as he stretched his arms back over his head before sitting back down. 

“You both suck,” Jared said, owning his petulance.

“We’ll see who’s doing the sucking after we finish up our game, uh-uh,” Danneel batted Jared’s hand away from the peanut buttered _Oreos_ , “These are for winners.,” and she picked one up biting it in half, and followed it with a half mouthful of milk. 

Danneel had the most clothes still on, she’d opted for removing her blazer and pants when she had to, keeping on her heels and nylon stockings. And Jensen had forfeited his shoes, one sock, his tie and his blazer on his losing hands. 

"You know Jared you could peanut butter up your own cookies," Jensen cocked his brow as he snatched the jar from Danneel.

"But she gets them perfect. They always break when I do it."

"Then do what I do," and Jensen spread some peanut butter on the outside of his _Oreo_ and Jared gasped in disgust.

"Heathen. That is not how you eat an _Oreo_. Danni tell me you didn't know about this?"

"Jare, we've been together how long? And you're just noticing this now?"

"Must have blocked it out. It's _too_ traumatic. Next you'll be telling me he doesn't deconstruct his _Twix_."

"Sweetie you're the only person I know who does that."

Jared huffed, "Well everyone else is doing it wrong." 

Danneel patted Jared’s shoulder, “Ah my crazy boys. Someone has to love you.”

“Hey!” Jensen scoffed, “Why do I get tarred with the crazy brush?”

“I don’t know Jensen, why do you have a personalized crumb sweeper?”

“That’s just practical. _No one_ likes crumbs, and besides you’re the one who got it for me,” Danneel rolled her eyes at that as Jensen pulled the cards from the middle of the table back towards himself to sort them back into deck form, “Can we get back to our game now?” Jensen said as he tugged at the collar of his shirt, “It's getting kind of hot in here."

And Jensen was actually sweating which made Jared appreciate his lack of layers for the first time during these proceedings. Not ‘cause he didn’t want to get naked, but because he didn’t like losing. Especially when this was supposed to be _his_ game, damnit. He was just about to tell Jensen if he wanted to cool down all he had to do was stop cheating when Danneel started to sing, “ _It’s getting hot in here . So hot_.” 

Jared couldn’t help but join in on the next line, “ _So take off all your clothes_ ,” and kick it back to Danneel, who was shimmying her shoulders and shaking her head from side to side, for, “ _I am getting so hot I’m gonna take my clothes off_ ,” and finishing with a giggle. Jared loved that sound. Loved when Danneel loosened up enough to get silly. She and Jensen could get pretty invested in the snark route. So Jared was basking.

Jensen was giving her the _mmhmm_ look.

“What?” she asked in all innocence.

“You call us the crazy ones.” 

“You have no sense of whimsy.”

Jensen threw an _Oreo_ at her which she caught and then licked before dunking it into Jensen’s milk and Jared couldn’t help but laugh at the incredulous look on Jensen’s face. Too priceless. 

“Just shuffle up and deal Harris,” Jensen said slapping the cards down in front of her on the table and Danneel gave Jensen a look as she grabbed the deck and then held them out to Jared. 

She liked him to do the shuffling for her because she couldn’t do it the _cool_ way. But he didn’t put his hand out straight away and gave her the _you know what I want_ look.

She sighed, “Okay fine,” picking up one of her _Oreos_ and pushing it into Jared’s mouth. And Jared took the cards from her, shuffling them up the _fancy_ way as she also called it. Jared liked to think of it as a valuable skill for international espionage. He could totally be James Bond. Jared _covertly_ pinched another peanut butter modified _Oreo_ when he handed the deck back to Danneel. 

He was eyeing up a third when she said, "Don't push your luck Padalecki."

He held his hands up in surrender -he never could put anything past her- and flipped Jensen off at his smirk.

Jared's luck did turn, and he had a little winning streak going, well three in a row, after he lost his t-shirt, but then he'd had to fold when Danneel hadn't been able to contain her glee at breaking it. And even though no clothes were lost that round she still victory danced all the way to the freezer to pull out the daiquiri mix. But ice cold drink or not Jensen started to get restless and just wanted to get his clothes off, and declared that folding no longer gave you a free pass, you had to take something off.

And see this is how Jared knew they were cheating, with their double folding, or not showing their cards after Jared put down his _winning_ hand, letting him keep his boxers for a couple more rounds. Jensen was down to boxers now too, though he still had his lone sock, and Danneel of course still had her shirt and sweatervest on top of her bra and panties. 

She was standing in front of Jensen now, her hand resting on his shoulder. Jensen was twirling Danneel’s garter belt round his finger, he’d just assisted her in sliding it off, and he cupped her thigh with his other hand just above the back of her knee. Jensen was horny, and touching Danneel was like a drug, always made you want more. Jared licked his lips, his eyes trailing up from Jensen’s hand to Danneel’s perfect perky little ass, the red lace of her panties only just covering it. Jared wanted to rip them off with his teeth. Okay so maybe Jared was horny too.

He was just about to ask if they could be done with the game now when Danneel said, “So what should we have him do?”

Jensen bit the corner of his lip, drawing his hand up her leg slowly and then smoothing back down, “The dishes?” 

“Hmm,” Danneel’s head tilting to the side as she considered it, “The bathroom?” 

“Hey! _Him_ is right here and I haven’t lost yet.”

That got him double eyebrow action. Danneel looked back at him over her shoulder, Jensen grabbing her arm to anchor her as she leaned into the movement. _Yet_ being the operative word. Never mind that it could just as easily be Jensen who lost. But for that to happen Jared would need to win the next two hands. He sighed, hanging his head in defeat. They had him. Though he’d much rather get on with the them _having_ him.

But he rolled his eyes anyway, “Well seeing as my fate is pretty much sealed, what do you say we just skip right ahead to the sex?”

Danneel scoffed a little, “Pfft,” turning to face him fully she gave Jensen’s fingers a squeeze before letting go of his hand, “And deny me my victory?” 

“Danni-”

“How often do _I_ get to beat _you_ at poker?” and she took up the space between his knees, planting her hands firmly on his shoulders, eyes challenging but still playful. Her bottom lip was begging to be bitten.

Jared settled his hands on her hips, fingers teasing under the hem of her shirt, thumbs hooking through the elastic of her panties, “Last I checked you still out-clothe me and Jensen.”

"Well then I guess you better take those off so that you can accept your punishment for sucking so sucktacularly," and she couldn’t resist ruffling up his hair.

"Jennnnn," Jared whined, twisting in his chair as he tried to angle away from her attack.

"What? You heard the lady."

Jared folded his arms across his chest with an exaggerated pout, "Hyperbole."

Jensen sighed and shook his head slightly as he pushed his hand back through his hair and then brought it forwards, "We all revere and envy your regular awesome poker skills. Happy? Now come on. Boxers off," and he snapped his fingers twice. _Chop, chop_.

"Yours too Jensen," Danneel said with an almost Cheshire cat grin and Jensen just returned the gesture as he got to his feet, eyebrows cocked suggestively, and he shoved them down to the floor without any preamble. 

And damn if that didn’t get Jared hard in ten seconds flat, and for reasons he couldn’t explain the single socked foot was doing things for him. Danneel took her fill of Jensen too, she made a happy little sigh as she shivered, blinking slow as she returned her attention to Jared. The _your turn_ going unsaid, it was crystal clear in her near-predatory gaze.

“What are you going to make me do?” Jared whispered without meaning to.

Danneel chuckled darkly, pushing her fingers back through his hair as she studied his face, cupping the back of his neck she dropped her head down to his own, her breath tickling his nose, “You mean right now baby?” and he quivered as he felt Jensen’s arms slip down and around him from behind. He hadn’t even noticed him crossing the room. Jared gasped when Jensen’s hand just barely swept over his cotton-covered erection, Danneel’s lips pressing a kiss just below his ear.

Jared rolled his shoulder against his cheek when she sucked his earlobe into her mouth, tugging just so with her teeth on the release, as she whispered back against his ear, “I’m gonna ride your face while Jensen pounds that sweet little ass of yours into next Thursday.”

Jared’s dick twitched when he felt Danneel’s fingers join Jensen’s and she increased the pressure of Jensen’s hand so that they were cupping Jared together. Jared whimpered when they let go. Lip petted, he hadn’t even noticed that he’d closed his eyes ‘til he opened them back up. Jensen was wrapped round Danneel, chin resting on her shoulder, their eyes on him. 

Jared gulped, “What’s my punishment?”

Danneel gave him that wicked little smirk of hers as she said, “One month. _Laundry_.”

And then Jared was grinning too. There was no way in hell Jensen was going to let him anywhere near the laundry. He’d been banished from the laundry room ever since a certain mishap that they dared not speak its name. That and Jensen got really unnerved if things weren’t done in a specific way, and cute though it may be, Jared didn’t like to be the cause of distress for his man. 

“And you can start by getting those off and into the basket,” she said hitching her thumb towards the laundry room. 

Jared stood and pushed his boxers down to his knees and let them drop the rest of the way, “What about you?”

Danneel raised her arms above her head and Jensen brought his hands to the top of her ribcage slipping his fingers underneath the wool of her sweatervest and pulled it up and over her head and he tossed it over to Jared who caught it easily. 

“You’re really going to make me pick up all our clothes first?”

Jensen cocked his head to the side, lips arching down in consideration, “Tidiness _is_ sexy.”

Danneel reached back to cup Jensen’s cheek, fond smile on her lips, “Plus we’d never pass up on the chance to watch you bending over obstruction-free.”

Jared scoffed, “Perverts.”

"Less yappin' more stretchin'," Jensen said as he gave Danneel's boobs a squeeze over her shirt and she moaned softly. Before starting in on popping the buttons.

Jared dropped her sweatervest behind himself and gave an obligatory, "Woops," with a shrug of his shoulders. He turned around and bent over nice and slow to give them a good look, Danneel giggled and Jensen snorted when he wiggled his hips just so. The three of them cracked up a little when Danneel's shirt landed on Jared's lower back, covering up his butt when Jensen tossed it at him. Apparently he was taking too long though, Jensen huffing a, "Come on," as he and Danneel started dashing about to pick up the rest of the discarded clothes.

"Jen, your sock."

Jensen looked down at his socked foot and wriggled his toes, "Heh, I'll get it later."

"Welcome to the wild side," Danneel teased.

Jared smirked, "Should we check his temperature?" raising his hand just before Jensen’s forehead.

And Jensen swatted at him, rolling his eyes, “Bedroom. Now.”

“Who won control?” Jared dared to ask, knowing full well Jensen might punch him for it.

But Danneel held up her hand, “I’ll allow it. You heard the man Padalecki.”

“After you m’lady,” Jared said palms upturned as he bowed his head.

Danneel and Jensen shared a look, but Jensen offered her his arm which she accepted, entwining their fingers as they led the way upstairs to their bedroom. That was a view Jared would definitely never turn down a chance of seeing. So much so he had gotten Jensen to immortalize the three of them with a butt portrait for Jared’s twenty-fifth birthday. He had it hanging over his bed. 

He could remember the _photoshoot_ very clearly and how cutely embarrassed Jensen had been about the whole thing. So of course Jared had had to drag it out until Jensen had to threaten him with bodily harm and a, _Dude quit clenching, you’re ruining the shot. We don’t do it right, we’re not doing it at all_. And Jensen hadn’t been kidding. He took his work very seriously. Jared was also really fond of the part where he had to take direction from his boyfriend, and when Jensen had _gotten his hands dirty_ to adjust his position just so. Danneel definitely dug that part too. She was just as bad as Jared.

When they got to the landing Danneel turned to face Jared, “You wanna take a bite Jay?” walking backwards, and Jensen put his arm round her middle to guide her and she smacked Jensen’s ass playfully as they paused in the door frame, “Hmm? You want to kiss and make it better?” and Jared was not ashamed that he fell to his knees there and then, even if he knew she was only teasing him. 

Her hand clapped down on Jared’s shoulder as Jensen slid in behind her pushing his hand over her abdomen and down the front of her panties. Danneel’s grip tightened on Jared’s shoulder as Jensen stroked her pussy and she huffed out a moan. 

“S’already wet for you baby,” Jensen said huskily, cupping Jared’s other shoulder with his free hand and pulling him in to press his nose into her folds. Jared let his tongue sweep out over the lace, his lips tugging up at the corners when he heard the catch in her breath and he seized the opportunity to squeeze Jensen’s ass.

Danneel tugged with her hand tight in his hair as she commanded, “Bed. Now.”

Jared did what he was told. He shuffled on his knees to the side of the bed and pulled himself up so that his legs hung off and he spread them, his knees almost touching the floor. And he waited, closing his eyes, listening to the sounds of Danneel's breath and Jensen's fingers as they slid through her slick. It made him feel made him _need_ to be touched. And he must have whined out loud because the next thing he heard was a breathy giggle from both his boyfriend and girlfriend.

Then he felt the dip in the bed and Danneel’s leg came into view, the inside of her ankle level with his nose as she straddled his back and he simultaneously felt Jensen settle between his legs and then he felt their hands spreading the globes of his ass. Hot tongues attacking him from both directions; Danneel’s lapping at the sweat in the small of his back, Jensen’s licking a strip from the base of his balls up his perineum but swerving to the left of his pucker. Jared pushed his ass back involuntary chasing the sensation that he needed to be on centre. 

Jensen brushed a spit and sweat soaked thumb over Jared’s hole with a soft drag and Jared shivered, back arching on a hiss as cold lubricant hit his overheated skin, gliding down his crack, easing the way for Jensen’s fingers while Danneel’s teased round the edges of the sensitive skin. The contrast drove Jared to distraction and they’d only just begun, “ _Please_.”

“Please what? Baby,” Jensen rumbled, and he bit down bluntly on the meaty flesh of Jared’s ass. The only thing he could think coherently was _more_. Danneel caressed both cheeks with her palms, sound tripping past Jared’s lips, “Guess we made him forget how to speak,” and he knew they wouldn’t make him wait much longer. 

It was Danneel that breached him first and Jensen closed his lips over Jared’s balls and sucked gently to distract him from the familiar strangeness as Danneel worked her finger in and out. Her fingers were slimmer than Jensen’s and it didn’t take long for her to work up to two only just teasing his prostate making his body jerk almost imperceptibly the little spikes of pleasure all at once too much and not enough. 

Jared definitely felt the difference when Jensen took over, felt the stretch just that little bit more, and Jared shivered at the feel of Danneel’s tongue flicking round Jensen’s fingers at his rim. They knew just how to drive him to the edge and keep him there. Made his dick throb in need, precome smearing into the comforter and he said again, “Please,” if a little more desperate this time when Danneel got in two fingers alongside Jensen’s. He needed Jensen’s cock there like now. Didn’t mean he didn’t huff at the loss of contact.

Jensen helped Jared up onto his feet, Jensen’s hardon slotting in against Jared’s crack as he pulled Jared back into him and Jensen kissed the back of Jared’s neck. Danneel was at the head of the bed up on her knees stroking the nipple of her right breast with her lubed up fingers, waiting. Jensen rubbed Jared’s belly, fingers skimming his happy trail, knuckles bumping against the tip of Jared’s dick, “Ready baby?”

“Fuck,” Jared’s breath was sharp on the intake, “Yeah.”

He turned in the circle of Jensen’s arms and he gave his boyfriend a kiss before sitting back on the bed, taking hold of Danneel’s thighs as he settled down on his back with his head resting between them and he licked a precursory stripe along the outer lips of her pussy.

“Jay,” she moaned and Jared grinned “Jen get a move on.”

“Yeah Jen,” Jared said as he pulled his knees up and spread his legs wide, “You heard the lady.”

Both Jensen and Danneel snorted at the very un-lady-likeness of Danneel’s current position but Jensen re-took his position between Jared's legs all the same, condom already on, sliding his hands from the top of Jared’s thighs to his knees and pulling them up to get Jared’s hole lined up with his cock. 

When Jensen slipped in Jared pulled Danneel further down closing his mouth over her sensitive flesh with a gentle suction as he ran his tongue along her slit to her clit. He loved hearing her make those sounds, the cut off gasps and of course there was the swearing, “Fuck, Jared. Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he knew Jensen’s smirk, unencumbered, matched his own. Jared pulled off and let his tongue dip into her entrance in tandem with Jensen’s shallow thrusts into his ass, inching in deeper and deeper on every roll.

There was a subtle rock to Danneel’s hips a hiccup of movement as they picked up speed, and when Jensen finally sunk in, balls deep, she fell forward onto one hand wrapping the other round Jared’s dick. Her tongue swept round the head and Jared bucked as much as his lack of leverage allowed, his back arched. 

“Shit,” Jensen grunted, rather eloquently summing up Jared’s thoughts, Jensen angling Jared’s hips just so and forcing a little more of Jared’s dick into Danneel’s mouth, Jensen’s cock gliding smoothly over Jared’s prostate and back again with a hint of a drag. Danneel was really riding his face now as promised and he managed to lick his own lips in between licking hers, her juices coating him from the tip of his nose to his chin which he pressed up to rub against her clit. Danneel was the first to start coming followed very closely by Jared who shot into her mouth and all down her chin, her neck and her chest. And then Jensen who had to use all the strength left in him to fall over onto his side next to Jared and not on top of Danneel who had collapsed into Jared.

“Help me,” came her sexed out request, her breath tickling over Jared’s spent dick. Somehow between them Jensen and Jared managed to get her up the right way and sandwiched between them.

“We should shower,” Jensen said without opening his eyes or making any effort to move at all, except for getting his arm in under Danneel’s neck to pull her in closer.

“Later,” Danneel said stifling a yawn, “Nap now.”

Jared bent his head down to kiss her shoulder before snuggling in closer and Danneel lifted an arm to stroke his cheek. She always had the best plans.


End file.
